Not the perfect woman.

       

       I was once accused of not fully committing in my relationship because she thought I was waiting for "The Perfect Woman" which was so not true but on the same note truer words have never been spoken.  I wasn't waiting for the world's most perfect woman, I was looking for the woman that had different qualities than she did.  Just because a person isn't right for your doesn't mean they aren't right for someone else . I love the thought of a soul mate, of the one perfect person in this world for each and everyone of us. Are we not allowed to find our happiness in whom ever that is?  She thought I was always looking for a "10" and that wasn't true. I think if you just ask any man honestly what it is that they truly find beautiful? What they find "Perfect"?, you would be surprised what a man is really looking for or at least what I feel I and most men are  looking for. It's just a person  you can connect with, a person you can laugh with, a person you can tell your fears to  and they won't laugh or judge you, a person that you want to cheer for, a person that when you are  tested they stand by your side and you by theirs.  That, when it is their moment to shine, when they have the spotlight, we don't take it away from them,  that we are happy for them and  we stand behind them in their decision to follow their dreams.

So the lady I would love to live that last of my moments on this planet with isn't a perfect mold of every great woman ever imagined; this super model with a perfect body, the perfect  height for dancing, perfect breasts sculpted by god himself ( though that's not a bad thing either). What I and most men are looking for is  a woman that is happy, happy with her body, happy with her family, happy with most of the choices she's made in life (we need to make some bad choice to learn from)  a person that laughs at my jokes, even if she's the only  person laughing in the room just simply because she get's my sense of humor, that she thinks about me during her day , that she generally cares about my day, that she loves that I might be a little bit geeky about somethings.

I've heard the "opposites attract" saying all the time and I feel this to be true but if you don't have something in common then what do you have? Kind words to each other? That's not enough.  I know that "true love " is something that doesn't come to you but it's something you have to work at but if there was a magic machine that you could punch in the features you think will make you happy that would be awesome, but there isn't one.  We need to look ...and look ....and look some more for the person we want to be with and more so wants to be with us.  I think the reason most people break up is that they settled or worse gave up they just threw in the towel and decided "oh well it was a good run". But what happened? Where did the spark go? Why didn't you try to fix it?  If you  are leaving because you aren't happy; were you not happy at the beginning? Were you just lying to yourself the whole time? These are questions I don't have the answers to,   as we are on our own personal and private journey. But at the beginning of every relationship we think they are the one, that this is the person I was meant to be with and sometimes just sometimes love or in most cases lust gets the better of us and our judgement.  I think most people settle because they have low self-esteem and think "Who could love me"? so the first person who gives them attention must the "right" and  "perfect" one for them and think "if I let them go I might never get another chance at love again" - bullshit !   You have to learn to love you first before you can love anyone else . And for the love of  God don't try to change anyone or "fix" somebody  they are who they are and if they want to change on their own they will. You wouldn't like it if someone tried to change or fix you so just stop thinking you can do it.

But I digress, where was I ? oh yes the perfect woman. If I could make a check list of what I thought was a  " perfect looking -'Weird Science' kind of woman; for me it would be a woman that was 5' 10 with wavy dark hair, a  tanned complexion, she would have a foreign  accent preferably Scottish ,  English or Australian, she would have a beautiful singing voice and and dirty sense of humor that would make a sailor blush. She would love movies all movies not just chick flicks, she would  still have the breasts sculpted by god ( I mean come on sculpted by God is pretty damn cool) she would love music and need to sing along in the car and dance to here favorite songs at home.  She would be a kind and caring person, she would  love to cook , not just for me but because she loves it, she would love to learn and never give up an opportunity to learn. She would believe in me but more importantly she would believe in herself.  This is my fictional perfect woman. Alas the "Weird Science" machine is just fiction and we cant just order the "perfect woman" online ( I know we can order a woman online but I'm sure she would act perfect until her green card came in) So for me I'm not looking for " The Perfect Woman" I'm looking for the half of "The Perfect Woman" where I can be the half  "The Perfect Man" that she is looking for so we can complete each other and live out the rest of our lives being happy. That we now feel "perfect" because we found our better half.   I think we are all looking for the person that lets us bring our walls down so we can be ourselves and live a fun life together and laugh our way to the grave holding hands and not looking back. So again I'm not looking for the perfect woman but the perfect better half ......we all deserve it.

Casey Chourney